Seconds
by Astralis
Summary: Sometimes a few seconds is all it takes. NS.


**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own any of the characters or settings. But you all already knew that, right?

* * *

Grissom sees them in the morgue corridor. He rounds the corner into the corridor, looking for Sara, and stops as he sees her with Nick.

There's just a second before they register his presence, but that second tells him more than he ever needed.

They're standing there holding each other. Grissom thinks at first that they've forgotten where they are, but then realises that they know all too well. After all, the reason he was looking for Sara in the first place was because she hadn't turned up in the lab after their autopsy. He'd realized, belatedly, that she'd been upset, though he'd been too wrapped up in scientific analysis and in not letting his own feelings show to notice it at the time. It was the autopsy of a teenage girl found behind the Venetian. She'd been raped and the only ID they had on her at the moment was a bracelet spelling out _Madeleine_. Of course Sara had been upset, would have been upset, and he'd only just realized. So he'd come looking for her, the image of Sara staring down into the victim's face haunting his steps.

She doesn't need his counsel or his comfort. He knows that, knows about her and Nick, but they're so discreet at work that sometimes he can't help getting his hopes up, thinking that maybe it's over between them, that maybe Sara didn't really care about Nick. That maybe there's a chance for him after all. He needs to believe it, in the face of all odds, just to keep going.

He's wrong every time, of course. He usually is about this sort of thing; maybe that's why Sara didn't want him. Maybe that's why she made the choice she did.

Standing in the corridor now, he sees Sara's head, turned away from him, against Nick's shoulder; sees Nick's cheek resting on her head; sees one of Nick's hands rubbing her back; sees Nick's lips forming gentle words that he chooses not to register. Grissom feels like an intruder observing all this, and it occurs to him to back away, but it's already too late.

He sees Nick tense slightly and turn his head towards Grissom, then Sara, an instant later, does the same thing. Her eyes meet Grissom's, but before he can read her expression she's turned away again, hiding her face against Nick's chest, and Nick, protective, strokes her hair. Grissom looks at Nick, sees anger and irritation and worry in his face, and envies Nick like he's never envied anyone.

He also begins to know how much he's lost, and how much he will never have. It hurts, this envy, like nothing he's known before.

* * *

Nick concentrates on Sara, on the warmth of her body. He can comfort her body; he's not sure what he can do for her mind. In a day or two she'll probably be annoyed with him for being here, for lurking outside the autopsy room when he knew she had a hard case, but right now he doesn't think she's in the mood for being angry. It's hard to tell. Sara's an enigma, and she likes being that way.

He whispers in her ear, words that are meant to be comforting, but he barely even knows what he's saying. He suspects Sara hears only the tone, and right now that's what matters.

For some reason, despite all his preoccupation with Sara, Nick hears footsteps. Reacting by instinct he tenses: they're in the lab, on the clock. He looks up and realises it's Grissom, and for half a second he hopes Sara won't notice. It was a futile hope, but almost as soon as she moves her head it's back against his chest, her body tense. Again acting by instinct he puts a hand against her head, trying to protect her. He's not sure what from, not exactly, but when she's over the autopsy she'll be furious Grissom saw her like this, if she isn't already.

His eyes meet Grissom's, and suddenly Nick's as mad as hell, even though it's really not Grissom's fault he walked in on this moment. He's half aware of the softness of Sara's hair under his fingers, but he's more aware of her hands clutching his shirt and of the look in Grissom's eyes.

He doesn't want to remember that look. He doesn't want to feel responsible for it, but he does. He holds Sara tighter as he becomes aware of a feeling of guilt, of having done something to Grissom that he'd never intended or wanted. It's a feeling of having stabbed his old mentor in the back, and when he's over being angry the guilt will remain.

It's definitely not forever that they stand there awkwardly in the corridor, but it seems like it to Nick. He has enough time to think numerous thoughts, beginning with _Sara had better be okay about this_ and ending with _Why's he looking so surprised? He _knows_ about me and Sara_ before Grissom looks down at the floor and says, quietly, "Take a break. I want you both back ready to work in twenty minutes."

Nick nods, and looks down at Sara. He wonders if "take a break" means they can just stand here for twenty minutes, because he doesn't know what else they can do.

* * *

Sara is angry. She's angry at the person who raped and murdered the girl known only as Madeleine, she's angry at Grissom for his damn insensitivity, she's angry at herself because after all these years she can't cope with this sort of thing. She's also angry at Nick for being here, because if he hadn't been, she wouldn't have fallen completely to pieces and half-collapsed in his arms, she would have been able to go on with the job just like she always does.

But for all that, she's ready just to stay here with him, to let him try to protect her, just for a few minutes. It probably won't work, but right now she's ready to try.

She senses Nick suddenly freeze, feels him turn his head. Curious, she does the same, and sees Grissom standing there, watching them. Before she can form a coherent thought she's turned back to Nick, breathing in his familiar smell, desperate now for Grissom and the rest of the world to just disappear.

She feels Nick stroking her hair. Typical Nick, trying to protect her through everything, and despite herself she admits that she loves him for it. Now she really wants to be mad, with Nick, with Grissom, with herself, with the world, but that's gone and all that's left is the humiliation of Grissom seeing her like this, so needy, so upset.

She hates it all.

She wouldn't have cared so much if it had been anyone but Grissom who'd walked in on them. Because it was Grissom she feels the need to be so many things; she always does around him. She's long felt that he has an image of her that she must live up to, and she'd hoped that being with Nick would make that image go away. It hasn't. She still wants to be tough and strong, to protect both of them - all of them - from the danger of emotion.

She just doesn't know how to do that right now. Not now, not here in the corridor with Nick, with Grissom's curious, questing, pained eyes on them. Not when it's easier just to give in, to let Nick cope with it. Just this once, she promises herself, and wonders if she's lying.

When she hears Grissom's voice it's as if it was coming from far away, through a fog. "Take a break. I want you both back ready to work in twenty minutes."

The autopsy of that girl, of Madeleine, took enough of her. Grissom took even more. She wonders if twenty minutes will be enough time to recover what a few seconds stole.

* * *

**THE END**


End file.
